#good at everything i did
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used to
used to guilt and shame
like needles in my veins
am I doomed to be mediocre at everything?
everyone thinks that I'm doing too much
but not trying hard enough
no one knows how hard
I chase the dopamine rush
everyone feeds me the same motifs
enough is enough
I can’t be strong like I used to
can’t not be wrong like I used to
I can’t work like I used to
hell, am I even useful?
if I’m not what I used to be,
will I then lose everything?
do I know the girl I used to be?
who is this new girl that I see?
you call her by my name
but we aren’t the same
cause she’s not what she used to be
she’s worse than geometry
why can’t I just live
up to what everyone thinks of me
just lock me away
leave me with my artistry
the only thing that improved
but you’d only find choreography
I’m the one who makes the days the same
though not how they used to be
so much on my back already
but what else do you want from me?
I’ll take the blame
shackles and chains
though I really need to be free
because that’s who I used to be
so please, please don’t give up on me
I can’t live as who I used to be
but I’m still trying though crying
still going and growing
I’m not sure if I’ll make it anymore
not sure if I can take this anymore
but if I can’t, what am I even here for?
just leave me with my tears
just shut the door
I’ll sit here with my fears and my heart still sore
I’ll look back on these years
when I am hurt and bored
and when no one seems to need me
not like they did before
do you even need who I used to be anymore?
#imposter syndrome#gifted kid burnout#gifted kid problems#who is she#who am i#sad poem#sadgirl#sad poetry#sad thoughts#i'm sad#yearning for freedom#yearning for more#wish i was her#wish i was normal#there is no normal#homesick#homesick for the past#failure#loneliest#lonesome#why can’t i be happy#why cant i have nice things#i just want to feel good again#i just really wish i was as good as i used to be#i used to be#good at everything i did#now it feels like im failing it all#and i can’t do anything about it#and i cant stop thinking about it#and all everyone wants to do is cheer me up but it isnt working because i dont think im working nothings working and i dont know what to do
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obsessed with this
#like. not to make everything about good omens but#crowley#there are so many versions of this with him gazing at aziraphale its so fkabdkahdbw#i did a real bad job at positioning these fjsbdhs i also know the last one is 'no one knows what..' but. whatever#.jtxt
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A bit random but I made this 3D still life in blender over these past few days!! it's broken me out of artblock n i wanna do more work in this style 😎
#weky draws#b3d#blender3d#3d art#still life#im really happy with all the textures ive put in here#i feel like i did a good job conveying what everything is made out of#like the cutting board being wood#the salmon...#hehehe!
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horrendously late entry for @luneariann’s dtiys!! congrats on one million ely i’m so proud of you <3
#this was due two days ago but tumblr banned me from posting 😍#sry i had to alter the pose bc i CANNOT draw extended limbs i hope you don’t mind ely😭😭😭😭😭#hope i at least got the flowers and color palette somewhat similar (i did not draw any of the flowers you chose💔💔)#ANYWAY COLORING THIS WAS SO FUN FRFR I LOVE SIMPLE CLOTHING RAAAAHHHH‼️‼️#THE PROMPT WAS SO CUTE TOO…….SKK DANCE WAUGHHH#the ppl in my inbox can leave now i drew skk dance pls leave me alone 😔#THE PARTICIPANTS ALL DID SUCH A GOOD JOB HAVE A FUN TIME GRADING EVERYTHING 🙏🏼🙏🏼#(imagine having to choose between so many beautiful entries i would cry personally)#ANYWAY CONGRATS AGAIN YIPPEEEEEE ILY ELY THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A GOOD FRIEND ♥️♥️♥️#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#soukoku#skk#lotus draws#dtiysluneariann
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i'm exactly as normal about him as I thought I'd be
#my art#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun vash#vash#tristamp#trigun stampede fanart#trigun fanart#idk the tags fr this fandom sorry its babys first trigun#im not abandoning jjk but expect more other stuff sprinkled in!! including trigun <333 including him <3#ANYWAY IM SOOOOO NORMAL ABTHIM IM SO NORMAL I PROMISE#im lying im sorry im feral about him i want unspeakable things done 2 him it was over the moment i heard his voice#but [redacted] thoughts aside#hes so fun to draw oh my god how did they make a character Exactly For Me how did they make one that ticks all my boxes#hes blond but like i can work with it i will get good at rendering blond hair for him <333 hes worth it <333333#i was cruisin along mindin my business having fun learning how 2 draw him and then i get 2 the arm . +24hrs to total drawtime#all my cheats ...my safety net of being able 2 use flesh to disguise th fact that u dont reeeeally know where tendons or joints go...#out th window. this prosthetic is practically an anatomically correct model. u can see EVERYTHINg#put my entire me into trying to figure it out h i think it is ok i think i like it#god i rly cant get over how he's just a combination of all the fun parts of drawing yuuji megumi AND gojo#he is the center of their triple venn diagram and i am EATING HIM ALIVE#sorry ill calm down .... fr now.... smile :)
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wing stuff!
experimenting with a more cartoon style, idk what i'm doing loll
tagging: @goodomensafterdark <3
#ymight say i'm *winging* it!!#then again you might not#my art#good omens#fanart#crowley#aziraphale#wings#digital art#digital painting#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#wasn't completely without references here esp for the wings#but i got further away than usual#and didn't use screenshots of michael sheen or david tennant's faces to do the characters' faces#i'm all right with how everything turned out except crowley's face#i have a hard time simplifying and leaving things out for drawing small or more cartoony#i end up trying to clumsily cram more detail in than the size or style wants and it looks weird#oh well it is practice it is valuable!!#i did most of this yesterday which was my bday lol present to myself#my days of short captions and a journal in the tags have come to a middle
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you think YOU had a bad day at work?
bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera
#this is now my FAVOURITE game i've watched in real life knocking the game misconduct one off the number one rank#he was so annoyed the entire game and so annoying about it :')#he kept shrieking away on the bench and i couldn't hear a word from where i was seated#but you could just hear this constant yipping away dhfsgfkjshgfsjf PLEASE it was so funny your 36-year-old babygirl was BARKING#drew kept sitting there like... is mom okay... i don't think mom's okay...#also extremely good for me (since he wasn't really hurt) was the whumpfest of it all oh my god what ancient gods did he anger.........#geno kept Hovering in concern#po kept giving him little shoulder pats the way a sweet brave babyboy would try his best to soothe a rabid little dog#ek of course kept trying to slide right inside him and also kept skating up to him and STARING him in the face in concern/lust/both#also guys this is my first time in canada ever!!!!!!!! i'm excited#anyway. very good game for me sorry for this post but you know i love a#long post#sidney crosby#evgeni malkin#pittsburgh penguins#also!!! to all who celebrate#ramadan kareem/eid mubarak#<333 staying with a friend here through the eid celebration and they've been cooking and everything smells so good
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Covenant
#yugioh#ygo dm#kisara#seto kaiba#kaiba seto#ygo#GET HIM BABY <3#this is my ideal blueshipping dynamic. btw#sometimes a super cool powerful dragon is soulmates with a little asshole. and you gotta rip him in half a bit#its for his own good trust me#but it's ok with me if you interpret this as mortal enemies doomed to rip each other up over thousands of years through every reincarnation#zelda ganon link style#also good god why did i do this it took so long and i got so insane about every frame#I LEARNED A LOT YEE HA#watch me actually look up how to do animation and realize i did everything in the worst slowest possible way#art tag
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its out! my completed piece for the summer portion of the @boatemvillagezine !!!
#now if youll excuse me i need my feet in a river Now#kostik draws#hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanart#goodtimeswithscar#grian#pearlescentmoon#impulsesv#mumbo jumbo#fanart#gtws#gtwscar#jellie the cat#what a doozy this background and layout and colour and everything was#i learned a lot and i think i did well. yaay#i really do really like the look of this one. mostly in vertical crops though#which does suggest something about the layout might be off#but this is basically one of the first times ive ever tried to compose like this and it was a very good first shot
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the u.s.s. horrible unending nightmare 💥 (once again from the incredible @hehearse)
#wolf 359#w359#doug eiffel#hera wolf 359#hera w359#art#id in alt text#i've been holding onto this one for a little while. for no particular reason i just wanted to.#but here it is#thank you so so much!!#incredible eye for detail as always and i'm obsessed with how you draw people. and also. everything#this is such a good eiffel. the circle kind of suggesting a helmet worked out so well. the way you did the star!! the glitch effects!!#the use of an actual sound clip and the heart monitor through it and all of it through his chest. genius to me.#and this ended up leaning more in the direction of eiffel's general repeated misfortune but i also really love the element of#eiffel and hera both being prisoners treated as test subjects. i like how it can read as much like him being pulled away as falling.#and with the soundwave and communication as a bridge and that specific clip from mayday and hera being the voice in his head that saves him#etc. etc. i love it thank you so much again!! <3
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crown swap
#i wasn't sure to wait until i have another set of art otw of this role swap au but i figured eh it'd be a good start than anything lol#i don't have many thoughts (a lie) but love the concept everything's the same except they switched places and it definitely hurts more#to figure how they react in the same scene but as their own person in the other's shoes#i'd think when it comes to magic simon... if betty's flaw came from obsession; then he would be on excruciating guilt#she gave it all up for him and he did nothing but let it happen; do what you will with the rest#betty mad simon sad; true encapsulation of how magic ruins you#qiiarts#betty grof#simon petrikov#petrigrof#adventure time#fionna and cake#prismo the wishmaster#finn mertens#fionna campbell#tiniest cameos lol
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Funk branch au
Au and branch design by @bbc-trolls
#dreamworks trolls#trolls#trolls au#trolls branch#trolls prince d#trolls queen essence#trolls king quincy#thank you bbc-trolls!! for both making this au! and for giving permission for fanart <3#oooghghg love this au#never knew I needed something so much#Funk family! your perfect! your everything#forgive me my queen! had a hard time drawing you#funk trolls are a bit of a struggle lol#‘branch gets adopted by another tribe’ you will always be famous#yeh funk fam and even funk trolls as a whole would be a good fit for branch#their advanced tech. how accepting/understanding they are (cue twt talk about differences) and did you see them get ready to battle!#the more I think abt this au the more I love it#the more I think about funk trolls the more I LOVE THEM<3#they're so cool#this took a little long to make. kept adding more and more lol#in case your wondering Quincy is giving a talk about how him being different to both pop and funk is okay and should be cherished#like that talk in twt about how the strings/troll genres are different and to not deny it cause it's an important.#silk sonic on repeat making this! edit: forgot to say thanks to lonedawn for mentioning the album on bbc’s og post! you are so right <3#also listened to other funky songs#need more funk music!! it reaches as special part of the soul#can not recommend 'atomic dog world tour remix' enough. it's so good. prince d's verse at 1:27 fav#trolls fanart#excuse the messiness#funk branch au#my art <3
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Aziraphale would be livid
#I know Spotify is so awful at identifying music but seriously?? bebop#this has to have been on purpose#the Spotify staff knew what they were doing#I refuse to believe it was a bot that did this#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#aziracrow#good omens 2#gomens#ineffable husbands#michael sheen#david tennant#ineffable sillies#it's ineffable#bebop#everything isn’t tickety boo#UPDATE: if you click on the hashtag it takes you to the good omens soundtracks STOP what is this madness#Spotify knows what it’s doing and I’m not feeling ok about it
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anyways. What
#atlas.art#artists on tumblr#mcyt#hermitcraft#hc s10#docm77#joehills#joe hills#juppet#vintagebeef#doc beef and joe just slowly fucking loosing it throughout this interaction is one of my favorite things that's ever happened on hermitcraf#also. watching his fucking gigantic hour glass slowly grow in the background of other peoples videos for the last week#why did he do that to himself so early in the season omg 😭#it literally is so ridiculously large it is insane. it looks insane next to everything else around it. it takes up the entire skyline#im thinking about keralis. who built his lake facing the shopping district so he could avoid looking at iskall's monolith while fishing#or mumbo and grian joking about making the biggest mega build in the shopping district for their wart shop. good luck with that now lmao#seriously if you haven't already y'all should go watch Wels' last video if only to see that thing grow in the background throughout the vid#wels built an entire castle on accident in that video and i still spent the entire duration going 'DOC WHAT THE HELL' it was so distracting
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ata tu corazón, mi amor, y arrástralo por la tierra
#this art hurts so bad#in a way i'd never be able to explain#also it just upsets me a lot because i don't like how i did it:(#idk how to make it better so i'm just gonna leave it as it is#and go to sleep good night#it was supposed to be cool and simple just like that#but in my eyes it's just missing everything and i don't know how to fix it#genuinely thought it was gonna be a good art but here i am oh well. that happens i guess#im sorry javier :(( i'll make more good art i promise#barghestland#art#artists on tumblr#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#javier escuella
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so just know, I'm healing / even though it don't feel like it
insp
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#good evening it is past midnight and i am here furthering the itfs scar kissing agenda#stumbled across the insp pic buried in my likes and i went oh this is relevant in the opposite direction :) I Can Use This :)#op has some of my fav itfs fanart ill b so real n tht piece ws swimming around in my brain fr Days#so i told myself today my reward for submitting my zine checkin wld b drawing yuuji kissing megumi's scars#also pls observe. /this/ is what i mean when i say tht megumi receiving affection looks like he is unsure and in mild pain#Does Not Know How To Respond To Affection Even From His Own Boyfriend.png#i LOVE drawing megu with this expression so sosos much the downcast sidelong gaze + furrowed brow.....#its SO good#also idk what i did with his hair here but the render actually turned out so well ?? best megu hair to date every1 pls clap#not 2 mention th shape of yuuji's bangs???? pats self on th back no offense but i am on fire w these boys' hair lately#that being said i decided i did not want to render anything else ddfdfjjghdjgf i got tired#kept the rest flat n took the opportunity to play around w light chromatic abberation on the scars#idk if any1 noticed but i found th retro film filter n used it a bunch on my recent comic#its so convenient it comes w built in noise n everything!!!!!!#anyway . caption is salt fv <333 if u care <333333#i think it is also a megu song but like . a post-canon megu song#i thought this wld take longer bc i was planning on rendering everything so i cracked an energy drink and am tragically awake#shld i start smth new we shall see smile :)
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